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Journal of a Universal Fluke: Chapter 1

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Chapter One-Universal
Fluke





I sighed and leaned back
in my chair, staring blankly at the ceiling. The trombones where
going over the rhythm in measure 65 again.
I hated measure 65. I had rests for forty-three measures starting in
measure 65.


So
much for clarinets playing the most.


I
tuned out my band teacher yelling at the trombones and glared at the
swirly pattern of dust on the vent on the ceiling. It seemed to be
changing. Growing, shifting, swirling. I narrowed my eyes at it,
feeling suddenly light. I glanced around; no one else appeared to see
what was going on. And they were slowly shrinking...no, getting
farther away.


I
squeaked, almost dropping my clarinet as I noticed that I was
floating. Floating towards... what? I wasn't sure. I looked back up
to see what had been the swirl of dust on the vent was growing into a
giant vortex.


And
no one else was noticing this?


HELLO!”
I screamed, but no one noticed. “HELP! SOMEBODY!” Still,
no one looked up from texting, or fingering along, or glaring at the
band teacher, Mr. Schwarz. No one seemed to realize that there was a
vortex made of ceiling vent dust slowly swallowing me up. And it
wasn't just swirling dust now; there were these shadowy tentacle-arm
things with tiny hands grabbing at me now. It was really weird, but I
managed to think for a little bit. In that quick burst of
rationality, I grabbed my backpack and music before I was too far
away. “HEY! YOU ALL SUCK!” I roared as the
dust-vortex-thing closed around me. Everything went black, then
everything was white. I glanced around. I appeared to be standing in
an endless white room, with an ominous black door floating in the
center. Then, there was a noise behind me. I turned around to see a
white figure about my size that looked human, except for its face. I
glared at the white figure. I got the feeling it was the figure's
fault that I got snatched from my band class by a dust vortex.


You!”
I huffed, because it seemed like something one should say after being
abducted. “You brought me here, didn't you?” I heard
something drop out of my backpack and looked down. My pencil bag had
fallen out. I rolled my eyes and turned away from the white dude to
shove it back into my backpack, along with my music, and zip it up.
Quickly, I turned back to my kidnapper and pulled on the backpack,
still holding my clarinet.


Yes,
I did,” said the figure, with a voice like a thousand different
people. I only knew it was the figure who had spoken because
apparently, despite having no other distinguishable features, it had
a mouth. That, and the fact that there was no one else here.


Any
particular reason why?” I demanded, re-folding my arms.


You
don't belong there.”


I
blinked. “Excuse me?”


You
don't belong there.”


Ooookay.
That made sense. Not. “Aaaaaand....” I raised one
eyebrow. “I belong here instead?”


The
white thing smirked. “No.”


So....”


So,
you're just passing through.”


Who
are you?” I
snorted. “Because you kinda seem like a creeper to me. And not
the Minecraft kind.”


The
thing smirked (grinned?) even wider. “I am Truth. I am the
World. I am One. I am All. And I...” it pointed ominously at
me. “Am YOU.”


To
be honest, I was slightly impressed, but a part of me was slightly
frightened. “What, you practice that in front of the mirror
every day or something?” I asked, semi-sarcastically. “Kind
of seemed rehearsed.”


I
couldn't read any expression on the white thing's face as its smile
dropped. Then, before I could start to worry, it laughed.


That
made me worry a little. I had been confused until then, which kept me
from worrying. But now, I was so confused that I had no other choice
but to worry. “Um... if it's no trouble, could you please stop
laughing?” I asked shakily.


White
Thing stopped laughing and straightened up. “It's not
rehearsed. I just say it a lot. Now, do you have anything else to say
before I send you on?”


Anything
else to say?” I muttered. “
Anything else to
say?
I have a lot more to ask.
First of all, what are you talking about, and what are you doing?!”


White
Thing tipped its head to the side for a moment. “There's a
problem. You were supposed to be somewhere else.”


Somewhere
besides first period Wind Ensemble?” That was my sarcastic side
beating my worry with a rock. Poor worry.


Somewhere
besides where you were.”


That's
not cryptic at all. Care to be a little more specific?”


White
Thing nodded. “You were
supposed
to be born to the Yates, in Central, Amestris. They were
supposed
to die when you where very young. Then, you were
supposed
to be adopted by one Madame
Christmas. You were
supposed
to be the youngest foster sister of that family. You were
supposed
to be raised in a large family in Central. But, every million years
or so, there is a fluke that even the universe itself cannot prevent.
The Yates died on their honeymoon.”


I
was shocked into silence, simply staring at the Truth. That... seemed
a little crazy. I guess the Truth
is
stranger than fiction.


Of
course, these kind of flukes can cause a lot of problems...”


Problems?
Universal flukes cause problems? No!” Sarcasm has now killed
Shock with a grenade. Ouch.


...So
I am putting you where you belong before the time-space continuum
implodes.”


Even
Sarcasm was silenced by that. “One person... can make the
time-space continuum implode? But you can wait fourteen years before
fixing the fluke?”


White
Thing nodded. “There are other flukes that have higher
priority. Planets leaving orbit, chickens taking over worlds, people
trying to bring other people back to life...”


This
was getting weirder and weirder. “Okay, then. But-”


Oh,
we're running out of time,” White Thing interrupted suddenly.


Sarcasm
was regaining its spirit. “Running out of time? Aren't you the
universe?”


Considering
the circumstances, I can't afford to warp the time-space continuum
much more. So, you need to go now. I have to deal with someone who
just invented time travel. Since this fluke wasn't your fault, there
won't be a toll-”


Toll?”


So
you don't really need to do anything else.”


What?”
I glared at the thing. “HEY. You brought me here, so I think
you need to answer my-”


Just
go,” Truth sighed, pointing behind me. I turned around to see
the giant, ominous black doors opening.


That
doesn't look very pleasant...” I muttered.


It
probably won't be. Bye!”


The
black tentacle-arm-thingys flew at me from behind the door. “Hey!”
I yelped as some of them wrapped around me. “NO!” I
hissed. “HAND THINGYS!” I screamed. “NO! STOP!”


It's
not like I expected them too, and they did not, in fact, stop. They
continued to grab me and then pulled me into the black void behind
the door. There was a swirl of white that reminded me of the dust
vortex that had grabbed me from first period band class. I was about
to have a small self-pity party in the back of my mind, but Sarcasm
gate crashed and shot everyone with its assault rifle.
Thanks,
bro. I just love being a universal fluke,
I
thought to myself, just before my brain exploded.


I
don't think it actually exploded, as in
blowing-gray-matter-all-over-the-very-clean-white-room kind of
explode, but the math-teacher-just-taught-my-geometry-class-calculus
kind of explode. I think this might have been how Irina Spalko felt
in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull when all that
knowledge was shoved into her brain and she caught fire. It felt like
everything I knew was being retaught, and everything I didn't know
was being shot at me with a cannon at twenty times the speed of
light.


My
brain was most
definitely
exploding. And it was
not
fun.


Then,
as suddenly as it began, it stopped. Everything went black. I noticed
a white dot in the distance. It was growing bigger and bigger, until
it completely took over the black. The white flashed, then there was
a thunk as I landed on the ground.


My
mind was rushing a mile a minute, but my body was exhausted. I
collapsed on the ground, my clarinet rolling out of my hand. I was
laying on my stomach, so at least my backpack wasn't digging into my
back. I exhaled in a rush of air and opened my eyes.


The
light from the sun was bright, but not as blinding as the white that
had flashed behind my eyelids when the vortex thingy ended. There
wasn't a cloud in the sky, just clear blue. I glanced around. It
seemed like I was in a park or something. I caught a glimpse of a
fountain, a few benches, and some little kids running around.


I
lay on the ground for a little longer before forcing myself up. Truth
was right- that was
not
pleasant. I reached out and picked up my clarinet again, regarding it
for a moment, then unzipping my backpack and placing the instrument
inside. I was completely ignoring everything that every band teacher
had ever said, ever, but I didn't particularly care. I had just found
out that I had to move to a
different world
because of some universal fluke.


And
the weird thing was, I believed it. I'm pretty sure no dream would
hurt my head that much, so it wasn't a strange vision or something. I
had the strange feeling that I was supposed to be here, actually.


Though,
I assumed that didn't mean here, in this park. I'm pretty sure it
meant here, in this world, where the sky seemed unusually blue. Then
again, after living on the Olympic Peninsula, in the Grey Northwest,
any sky is unusually blue.


I
took a better look at my surroundings, then started walking in a
random direction. I studied the buildings, which looked pretty nice,
though not very modern. The looked a lot like the buildings in those
historical towns like Snohomish that you could find all over
Washington. There was a bakery, a butcher, and a shop with lots of
metal contraptions. The sign over it read, “Automail.”
Whatever that was, I promised myself to go check it out later.


I
mentally slapped myself. I was fairly certain that I wasn't supposed
to be this cool about being stolen from my world and shoved into
another. Oh, well. I knew my shock would recover soon, and all at
once, probably leaving me sobbing in some dark alley.


But
hey, while my sarcasm continued to hold dictatorship over every other
negative emotion, I might as well enjoy it. I continued to walk
aimlessly down the street, on which people and only a few cars
traversed. They looked like the antiques I see at the car shows on
Main Street, too, which might mean... crap. This was most definitely
not allowed. The universe was
not allowed
to pick me up out of my nice, 21
st
century lifestyle and put me a century earlier. My iPhone wouldn't
work, which meant no communication and no music. My laptop wouldn't
work, and there certainly wouldn't be internet, which meant no
Tumblr, dA, YouTube, or any of the other sites I wasted my time on.
It meant no more Harry Potter fanfiction. It meant no more movies and
TV. No Psych, no Star Wars, no Disney.


I
was absolutely, positively,
definitely
going to die.


Good
thing sarcasm was a powerful dictator, because if it weren't, I'd
probably collapse in the street and cry my eyes out.


Instead,
Sarcasm's adviser, Ticked Off, pointed out that I was quite hungry.
Apparently having your brain explode takes a lot of energy. My
stomach growled to prove Ticked Off's point, and I sighed.
Rationality meekly stepped forward in my mind and suggested checking
my wallet to see if the Universe had bothered to exchange my money,
how much I had, and how much that would translate to. That made
sense, I supposed. Well, it
was
Rationality talking.


No,
I'm not schizophrenic at all. I'm just weird. Though, at this point,
I was doubting myself.


I
pulled off my backpack and unzipped the pocket inside the main
compartment, where I kept my money and keys. My wallet did feel a
little different—It kind of felt heavier. I pulled it out and
looked inside.


The
money was completely foreign to me. I could read it, at least, but it
looked really weird. It was all different colors, like euros, but
they all had the same face, a golden-haired, golden-eyed man. There
was a little caption underneath that said, “The First
Alchemist.” My eyes moved to the number in the corner and I
almost dropped my wallet. My five dollar bill had turned into one for
five
hundred. And
there were several other large bills in my wallet now, where there
had only been up to 20s before, and maybe one hundred dollar bill.
So, either this place had serious inflation problems, a weird money
system with tiny units like Japan's, or the Universe was feeling
generous today. I'd have to find out.


I
had seen a bakery a few buildings back, so I turned around, gathered
my luck, and walked inside. It was pretty empty, but I didn't even
know what time it was. It might have been between meal rushes or
something. The smells inside where heavenly, though. The scents
inside the bakery were so wonderful, my brain almost stopped hurting.
I looked at the display and studied the different pastries. Pretzels,
300 cenz. Apple pastries, 500 cenz. Almond cookies, three for 200
cenz. Horseshoe-shaped cookies covered in nuts were marked at 100
cenz. Little ball cookies rolled in cinnamon and powdered sugar were
50 cenz. Breads with all sorts of grains, nuts, and fruit took up an
entire section. Giant cinnamon rolls the size of my head were 1000
cenz, with smaller ones for half the price. My mouth started watering
and my brain compared the prices to what I would've paid in the
bakery at home. The exchange rate seemed like one penny for a cenz,
or something along those lines. I was quite relieved. I didn't want
to owe the universe any favors.


Hoping
the girl behind the counter spoke English, I approached her.


Hi!
Can I help you?” she greeted me in a high-pitched voice,
sounding far too excited. Both Dictator Sarcasm and its adviser,
Ticked Off, wanted to slap her, but Rationality pointed out that if I
did, I wouldn't get one of those huge cinnamon rolls. That shut them
up, and I was free to be relieved that I could at least understand
her.


Yeah,”
I replied, scanning the displays again. “I'd like one of those
big cinnamon rolls, and an apple pastry, and two pretzels,” I
told her. My stomach rumbled in appreciation.


The
girl nodded eagerly and asked, “Do you want to eat here, or
later?” I shook my head. “That'll be 2,100 cenz, then!”
she said, sounding extremely cheerleadery (because that's a word) as
she packed the food into a bag.


At
first, I paled at the large number, then reminded myself that the
amount probably translated to about $21 back in Olympia, which was
about the price of a meal that large at the bakery there. I pulled a
couple bills out and handed them over. “Thanks,” I said
to her.


Thank
you!” she replied, grinning and holding out the bag. Put my
wallet back into my backpack and took it, eagerly taking out the
cinnamon roll and biting into it.


It
was the
most delicious
thing that I had
ever
tasted.
EVER. It was
like taking ice cream and adding taste sparkles and then turning it
into a pastry. It was way better than the bakery back in Washington.


I
walked out of the bakery and continued down the street, enjoying the
piece of heaven far more than I probably should have under the
circumstances. It didn't bother me quite so much that I had been
kidnapped if I got these giant cinnamon rolls, delicious pretzels,
and heavenly apple pastries. Of course, I was going to run out of
money eventually... but I decided to worry about that once everything
else hit me. Might as well take it all at once.


After
I finished my food, which was surprisingly quick, I just continued to
walk. I wasn't really paying attention now, just wandering around.


And
then, the sun began to set. Oddly enough, it was then that it dawned
on me.


I
was in a different world.


I
was not going back home.


This
wasn't a dream.


As
the realization hit me like a ten ton safe, I staggered over to the
side of the road and collapsed on a bench.


And
then, I cried.



Chapter Two-The Hughes







Chapter One of Tales of a Universal Fluke, an FMA fanfiction.
I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. My OC is mine. :) Her name is Crystal Warner. (That comes up in the next chapter.) Hope you like it!
||Next: coming soon
© 2013 - 2024 Panthera--Shadow
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